DAY 11: The Difference: Projection vs. Connection

Welcome to Day 11. By now, you might have started noticing a few things—a song, a feeling, a memory. And right on cue, your logical brain has probably chimed in with the Big Question:

"How do I know I'm not just making this up?"

"Is it just wishful thinking?" "Is it just me?"

This is the most common and important question. Learning to tell the difference is a skill called Discernment.

Here is the simple, life-changing secret: The difference isn't in what you see or hear. The difference is in how it feels.

Projection (From Your Mind / Ego):

• How it Feels: Anxious, heavy, needy, or desperate. It often comes when you are straining or "trying" (Remember Day 3?).

• How it Sounds: It sounds like your own voice, your own worries, and your own fears. It's often complex ("He would be so disappointed in me for...").

• The Result: It often leaves you feeling a bit heavier, more anxious, or more "stuck" in your grief.

Connection (From Your Loved One / Source):

• How it Feels: Simple, clear, light, and peaceful. It often brings a "chill," goosebumps, or a sudden, unexpected feeling of warmth.

• How it Sounds: It's often very brief, random, and "pops" into your head when you're not expecting it (like when you're washing dishes or driving). It might be a single word ("Listen"), a simple image (their smile), or a feeling (pure love).

• The Result: It leaves you with a feeling of peace. Even if it's just for a moment, you feel lighter, confirmed, and loved.

The Golden Rule:

Your mind is loud and anxious. Their love is quiet and peaceful.

You are not "making up" the peaceful feelings. You are not "imagining" the unexpected chill. That is the feeling of a true, high-frequency connection.

Action (The 'How'):

Today, we are going to practice using this "feeling-radar."

Action: The Feeling Test

Your task today is not to find signs, but to test the ones that appear.

The next time a thought, memory, or potential "sign" related to your loved one comes up, pause before you analyze the content of the thought.

Instead, ask yourself this one question:

"How does this make my body feel?"

1. Pause.

2. Take a breath.

3. Scan your body: Does my chest feel tight and anxious? (This is likely Projection).

4. Scan your body: Does my chest feel warm and peaceful? Do I have chills on my arms? (This is likely Connection).

Journal It: In your journal tonight, write down one or two instances where you practiced this.

• Example 1: "I started worrying about what he'd think of my new job. I paused. It felt heavy and anxious. I realized this was my fear, not him."

• Example 2: "I was driving and a memory of us laughing on vacation just popped into my head for no reason. I paused. I felt a warm, light feeling in my chest. I knew that was a 'hello' from him."

This takes practice! You are building a new "feeling muscle." Don't judge yourself. Just get curious.

I'll see you tomorrow for Day 12.